Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Tribute to my husband – Thanks for sharing the load

There is a really cute video going around right now. I really like it. It lists all sorts of job requirements that seem unreasonable if a boss were to ask you to do them. 24/7 on the job. 365 days a year. You can eat after the associate finishes eating. You would benefit from medical, culinary arts, and finance training. You need to be mobile and active and be able to be on your feet most of the day. You may need to stay up at night with the associate.

And you don’t get monetary reward or reimbursement.

Here it is:

Until he told them who did those jobs, this job seemed unimaginable and doomful! It made me think about why it isn't completely draining for me to be a stay at home mom and it's not just because of the feeling I get from knowing I'm helping the associates.

The money aspect

It’s not all about how much we are worth to society monetarily.

My husband makes sure we have what we all need. He’s not hoarding the money or saying “I worked hard for that money so I’m going to go buy this…” If I ask for clothes, he'll make sure we can buy them. The kids are clothed and we eat food.

I’ve never felt like it’s his money v. my money.

Reward of the feeling of helping my family and children

This is the truth. It is wonderful to know I'm helping. I save our family money by staying home too. I know I’m contributing in multiple ways.

Not being able to run away from being a mom/wife - but not wanting to either

That whole no vacations/no time off thing doesn't bother me. But it would if I was literally doing all this by myself.

I’m not a lone parent. My husband doesn’t come home and kick back and expect me to continue doing everything. He plays with the kids, changes diapers, tucks them into bed, does homesteading stuff, cooks in the kitchen. He’s a variety pack. And he helps our children in the middle of the night.

I don’t feel mommy drained or like I need to escape. And I do not envy an out of home job. I know my husband would love to be able to work from home.

So, who has the hardest job?

I tend to think my husband has the hardest job in our family right now. And I have the best job.

My job is hard, but Joel is so good at helping, making time for us, and listening to needs in the house, that I don’t feel like I’m personally running the show 24/7 without a break. Sometimes I ask for an extra break after a particularly difficult week, or couple days, but on those days he makes dinner, lets me sleep in, or changes the rest of the diapers for the night.

I get to work at my favorite job, put all sorts of skills to use, and get the reward of helping my family.

My husband appreciates everything that video says and he pitches in. I'm thankful to have a husband who participates so much around here.

And that video makes me appreciate my own parents too. My mom was ALWAYS there to listen, day and night. And my Dad, who worked 40-60 hours a week, was always supporting her. I remember him randomly vacuuming the floor for her, or telling her to sit down while he did the dishes. And I remember both my parents coming into our rooms at night when we had nightmares. I’m so glad to have had the model of two active parents.

So while this made me so thankful for all the moms out there, it also made me so thankful for all the active parents in general.

Thank you, video, for making me all mushy gushy about being a parent and how much I adore and am thankful that I'm not on the parenting journey alone. My husband is a rockstar.


  1. I do find it somewhat disconcerting that you have to "ask for clothes" rather than just going and buying them? Unless you have a concrete/inflexible budget or something? I would have trouble with that personally. I've both stayed home and worked outside (which I prefer). I got incredibly bored, and felt socially isolated not having other adults to share ideas with. I didn't homestead then though so it was a basic urban home. My hubby is the same- he always shared duties with the kids, the house, carpooling, etc. I'm a better cook, so I usually took care of that....

    1. I actually had a feeling that someone wouldn't care for my wording on that, but it's the truth and I didn't have a better way to say it at the time. My point was that he makes the cash, but he doesn't hoard it. So I don't mind saying "he makes sure we can buy them". You are right, we don't have a flexible budget at all. We make most of our purchases together. He doesn't go out and buy jeans randomly either. We say we need something and see where we can fit it in - I just didn't want to explain that in this post. I don't currently feel socially isolated either - but I'm an introvert and a few interactions are enough for me. :-)

  2. This is such a sweet post. It sounds like you and your husband work hard to even one another out :) That's a great partnership!

    1. Thanks! We do have to work hard at it, but it is wonderful and I'm so happy I get to work through life with my best friend!

  3. Oh Michelle, thank you for the compliments. Dad and I complete each other, and I am thankful that you have that with Joel. And it was never his money, my money either.... it was our money... when we married, two became one, and no more his and mine, it became ours... money, decisions, taking care of home and children, it was all ours... I loved being a stay at home Mom... and it sounds like you are too!




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